Dealing with Terrible twos or there after? 9 techniques to a help you and your child navigate this phase


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Consistency

One of the most key things to teach a concept, behavior or whatever it is that you are trying to imbibe in your child, is CONSISTENCY. Nothing beats consistency.  For all of the techniques listed below, vow to yourself to follow through with it every time you interact with your child.

Show them that THEY are part of YOUR life

Listen

Kids are smart, they understand many things and have a thirst for something new.  Just like their thirst for new information, they also want to share what they learn with you. Their vocabulary is expanding, so often times they will pull you down to show new things, say new words. Please listen, stop doing what ever it is that you are doing and kindly listen. Just by listening you have now taught them that they are very important in your life, that communicating is not only talking but listening. My 2 year old often pulls me over to her play room to show me something she just built. It is not convenient for me, but I tug along to see it. She is very happy that mommy gave her some attention and this encourages her to give me the same when I ask her to.

Make small talk

This is one of the fundamental techniques to build any relationship. When you talk to someone, you make them feel as part of your life. Bed times are best, but feel free to do it whenever possible. Just talk aloud what you are doing in your kitchen, or when you do the laundry, grocery shopping. This way you are teaching your kids to share whatever happens in their life with you.  I am sure every parent wants their kids to open up especially during their teen years, this will serve as the basis for that life long journey.

Involve them

You want to bring up child connected to your family, then involve them in your household chores and decision making. Allocate them age appropriate chores like cleaning up toys before dinner time, helping to set up the dinner table, making their beds etc., you are automatically teaching your child that he or she is invested in this family, with this comes responsibility. When it is appropriate introduce the value of money. One easy way to do it is to buy a piggy bank or digital coin counters (they make excellent birthday gifts). Give them perks by asking them to spend some money as a reward for good behavior.

Show them that YOU are part of THEIR life

Explain

Lets say your child wants a lollipop and for good reason you do not want to give it to him or her right now. Sit down with them and explain briefly why you think it is not a good idea, instead of disciplining them right away. It may not work immediately but your are building character by teaching them to discuss their issues.

Keep your word

Whether you promised you will take them out to the store or give them a treat, do it. So the first thing to remember is to make a list of things that will make you child happy. List can have activities, treats, television or anything that flies with them. You should also equally discipline your child when necessary. This way you are teaching them that there are consequences – good behavior breeds happy outcomes and bad behavior breeds time outs.

Time for some ‘Time OUTs’

Time out

Discipline your child at the time your child exhibits characteristics you do not want them to. Designate a spot as the “Time out” spot in your house. It can be a corner, or his room, whatever works, The most important thing is to be consistent give a time out for the behavior you want to suppress.

Show them

The best way to teach anyone anything is to show them. The average attention span of a child is very short. Instead of giving a long monologue on how to behave, show them yourself. One example is to listen to your child when he or she talks( you are teaching them to listen), make lists for shopping (showing them that lists are important to stay organized in school), getting ready before time for any event(teaching them to be ready on time for school). You are their role model, its time you really acted like one.

Distraction

This is a great technique for kids, they have the tendency to forget and move on to other things much easily. Remove them from the scene and give them a treat, or an activity that they love to do. My daughter loves to paint, so many a times I ask her to paint. Cell phones are awesome, download fun apps with their favorite cartoon characters and keep them handy.